


Don't Go

by Be_My_Lost_Boy



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe, Angst, Anxiety, Dark, Dom! Rhett, Domestic Violence, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sub! Link, Triggers, randl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-03 10:03:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10242167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Be_My_Lost_Boy/pseuds/Be_My_Lost_Boy
Summary: How can you expect someone to stay if you treat them in such a way? Link is tired of the abuse, he wants out, but can he really walk away from everything he and Rhett created together?-TRIGGER WARNING-





	1. Link's P.O.V

Rhett has always been a tall man, yet he looked even taller from Link’s view on the ground. Sitting there, on the cold, hard floor with the stinging warmth emanating from his cheek made his entire relationship the man feel dream-like, and not in the way you would think. No, this life was like a dream, one that replays over and over each day, a constant loop of which Link can never seem to break. The abuse has been going on for months, it is hard to remember exactly when this all started since it feels like it’s been forever. It’s usually one hit followed by an apology and a parade of ass kissing. It seems as though that sweet, gentle man Link originally fell in love with only comes out of hiding when he fears Link will call the cops or worse,  _ leave him _ . Though Link would never do something like that, no matter how far Rhett went. He couldn’t take a chance of the Mythical Beasts not only knowing that they’re together but that they are not as happy as they portray to be. But he was happy, wasn’t he…? 

Link hurt, but he was also numb, his heart ached, yet continued to beat. This was his life and the man standing over him, continuously apologizing, was the man he chose to spend it with. Rhett extended his arm in which Link took willingly, rising up from the floor. How could it be that the abuser had more hurt in his eyes than the victim? It was a mystery to the raven, a cold case that may forever go unsolved. He was pulled into a tight embrace by the older man, the top of his hair dampened by the tears the blonde shed. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened and most likely will not be the last. With each occurrence Link fights back the urge to say things such as,

“ _ If you were truly sorry then you would stop doing it.”  _

_ “ I’m tired of having to forgive you!”  _

_ “Do you really hate me that much?”  _ _  
_

_ “What happened to the Rhett I grew up with and fell in love with?” _

All these questions are valid, though they remain left unsaid. Link looked around the room, silently naming three things he can touch, two things he can smell, and one thing he can taste, a trick his doctor taught him in order to control his anxiety. Rhett names a list of places in which he wanted to take Link out to eat, but his voice did nothing except play as background elevator music. It was the same old routine, Link would get hurt, Rhett would apologize, trying to make up for his wrong doing, and Link, knowing Rhett won’t change, goes along with it. He takes everything that is offered to him by the older man. At first, he felt like a prostitute, in which Rhett could use and abuse, only to make up for it with material items. In the beginning, Link would deny the gifts or the invites to his favorite eateries. After some time, Link realized that if he cannot bring himself to walk away, he might as well take advantage.  _ ‘It is better to be hurt and served a nice meal or a new pair of glasses that to be hurt and empty.’ _ In Link’s mind this made sense and somehow seemed completely reasonable. Link tried to imagine his life ten years from now.

_ “Would everything stay the same?” _

_ “Or, will Rhett’s behavior fade with a phase?”  _

_ “Will things get better?” _

These questions caused the room to spin and form a deep, sinking feeling in the pit of Link’s stomach. He ever so desperately wanted to believe that things would someday change for the better, yet he was smarter than to chase such unrealistic fantasies. He dragged himself to the bathroom, wincing at the bright fluorescent lighting. With a deep breath Link looked in the mirror, inspecting the damage to see if he would even be able to go out tonight. Surprisingly, there was nothing there. Part of him was thankful, for it would take a lot of makeup and special lighting in order for him to hide it from the Mythical Beasts. Their attention to detail was something that he both loved and hated, for they picked apart every little detail, from the lack of smiles, all the way to Rhett’s uneven hoodie strings. Yet, part of him wished there was a bruise, a cut, something, any type of blemish for Rhett to stare at, knowing he was the one who caused it. 

Link knew he deserved better, he knew he was too good for Rhett, but he couldn’t walk away. In Link’s eyes, he viewed Rhett as the true victim. A victim of his mind, a victim of his anger, a victim of whatever it was controlling him, that made the loveable blonde change into the monster he had become. A few minutes had gone by when Link realized that Rhett was still talking, though he had not been listening to a word that was being said. A cold sweat ran down his spine as he searched for context clues as to what was said.    
  
Link glanced up, startled by the presence of the older man standing in the doorway. “Hop in the shower, get dressed, then we’ll go.” Rhett wrapped his arms firmly around Link’s much smaller frame, holding him in place. The raven squirmed in the grasp, partly from fear and partly because of the man’s coarse facial hair was irritating his sensitive skin. His blue eyes, the only thing Link truly liked about himself had grown dim despite once possessing the brightest of light. His eyes met those of his reflection, staring down one another as if one would look away.    
  
_ Rhett & Link, a comedy duo, internetainers, best friends for life… Heh, If only they knew the truth. _

“Okay.” Link eventually answered, pulling away from his boyfriend and began stripping. Usually he would be modest, demand Rhett to leave or at least turn away, but no, not this time. This time, Link wanted Rhett’s eyes glued to his body, he wanted Rhett’s heart to break in half at the sight of the scars and bruises he keeps hidden. He hides these scars under his graphic T Shirts and skinny jeans, hiding them from the Mythical Beasts, Rhett’s family, his mother, and most importantly, from  **_himself_ ** _. _

Link was unsure as to how he wanted Rhett to respond, or if he truly even wanted the man to. Yet, Rhett’s silence and lack of acknowledgement enrages the younger of the two. He turned away as sadness quickly took over him, remembering a time when Rhett would go ballistic on anyone who laid a finger on  _ “his Link” _ . 

_ Rhett would probably still act the same way as he did back then. Only difference is that it is  _ **_him_ ** _ who is laying the finger on Link, not someone else.  _

An elongated sigh escaped Link’s plump lips as the hot water pelted him like a rainstorm of tiny needles. Though there was only a thin shower curtain separating the two individuals from one another, it is where Link felt most safe. Each time he would step inside he would chuckle to himself at the sense of comfort he felt. Link was  _ wet  _ and  _ naked _ , he was most vulnerable, yet somehow, some way, all the pent up fear and anxiety vanished, hidden under the layers of heavy steam.  

_ It’s funny, how events in our lives force us to change. Trauma tends to reshape our views and interests in a way that best fits its molding. Even after the event has transforms into a memory, we still cling to the changes we have made. After all, if you don’t cling to something, you will surely drown.  _

Even as a child Link was never fond of taking showers or even baths for that matter. He was never one to cause a fuss over it, but he never understood how someone could honestly  _ enjoy  _ it. As an adult, yet before the abuse, Link viewed shows as a way to get clean, not relax. He never took baths and his showers lasted for only a couple of minutes. Step in, wash your hair and your body, and step out. That mindset ended once the beatings began. Showers turned into Link’s comfort blanket, it was where he could think without distractions and cry uncontrollably without raising concern. 

Unfortunately, this was not one of those times. He knew Rhett was waiting on the outside of the shower curtain. Link scrambled to wash himself, skipping the conditioner and cleaned his body with only the use of his hand instead of a wash cloth. Link took a deep breath before he opened the curtain. To his surprise, the not-so-gentle giant wasn’t there. He wasn’t sure if he should feel relieved or frightened by the disappearance of his boyfriend. Wrapping a towel around himself, Link went searching, unable to call out the man’s name for he knew if he was to speak, his voice would crack and the tears would fall. Knowing that the bedroom light wasn’t on before, Link decides to check there first.

Rhett was sitting sideways on the bed, supporting his weight with his right arm while one of Link’s outfits laid neatly on top of the sheets. Everything was there, everything from his socks and underwear, all the way to the cologne he normally used. Rhett must have seen the puzzled look on Link’s face because he quickly chimed in.

“I figured you must be hungry, instead of wasting time picking out an outfit, I did it for you. Quicker you dress the quicker you can eat, right baby?”    
  
Link answered with a slow nod. He had not eaten all day but the hit must have knocked his appetite out of him because he wasn’t hungry. He knew Rhett was only trying to makeup for what he did earlier. And as always, Link would follow the man’s lead, dancing to the song of Rhett’s apologies. If truth be told, Link didn’t want to go out, especially not with Rhett. He loved Rhett, but he wanted to be alone. He didn’t want to sit in the car with the man who repeatedly hurts him, he didn’t want to have to sit across from his abuser and fake a smile, pretending that everything is okay. 

_ Because everything isn’t okay. This relationship, these emotions, the pain, the sleepless nights, the lying, the hiding...All of it wasn’t okay.  _

Despite his feelings, Link found himself putting on his underwear that Rhett had picked for him. He was going to do this, he was really going to play the part of a happy, carefree boyfriend who is on a dinner date. Link couldn’t bring himself to look in the mirror, he was completely and utterly disgusted with the person he had become.    
  
It was Rhett who broke the silence. “Ready to go?” He asked, placing a soft, gentle kiss onto his boyfriend’s lips. Despite his feelings, Link reciprocated, wrapping his arms around the older man’s neck, resting his head onto Rhett’s chest. All the angry he felt a minute ago had melted, this, this was all Link wanted. Soft kisses, warm hugs, though he knew it would be short lived, it was the remnants of what once was.    
  
“R-Remember when we…” Link paused, unsure if he should continue. The worst that could happen is Rhett hits him...Nothing he hasn’t dealt with before. With that in mind he continued.  “Remember when we would stay like this for hours? Back when you loved me…”    
  
Rhett’s entire body tensed, he felt paralyzed, yet was also able to feel his heart in his throat. “Wait a sec.” Rhett held his boyfriend at arms length. “You think I don’t love you?”    
  
The silence was eerie and the tension was so thick it could have been cut with a knife. “Com’on let’s go, it’s getting late and I’m starving.” Link replied with a fake grin, changing the subject. It was strange how inside his head he knew exactly how he felt, yet speaking it aloud, especially to the person it involves, he became confused. Did he really feel that Rhett doesn’t love him? Link feared he had opened a can of worms in which he could not put the lid on fast enough. 

Rhett remained silent, following the smaller man out the door, locking it behind him. Link walked quickly down the path, to their car parked out front. His mind was blank, he didn’t want to think, he didn’t want to feel, he didn’t want to…. _ exist _ . Link climbed into the passenger’s seat, wincing in pain from old wounds, hoping that his struggling facial expressions went unnoticed. Whether it did or didn’t Link wouldn’t know, for Rhett did not respond. 

The raven piped up and asked Rhett if he got new windshield wipers. It was random, as well as a subject that he did not care for, but he needed to break the silence, if not for Rhett, then for himself. He was climbing the walls inside his own head due to the silence, his thoughts echoed so loud, Link thought his ears would bleed. He continued with follow up questions, keeping the conversation going, he feared the silence, he feared being alone with his own thoughts. Link’s own mind was a larger threat to him than Rhett ever was. Eventually there was a lull in the conversation, nothing could be heard except the roaring of the engine. Link had one arm resting on the windowsill of the car door while his other hand was lying flat on the seat. 

Keeping one hand on the steering wheel and his eyes on the road, Rhett’s free hand crept closer to Link’s, ghosting his fingers over the digits, only to have Link retreat in fear, pressing his body to the car door. Immediately, the raven began to panic, he knew that type of behavior angered the older man but he couldn't help it, recoiling in fear has become a part of his daily routine. Shying away, flinching, protecting his face, apologizing...These were all second nature to Link. His whole demeanor had changed, his words were mumbled, he spoke with a stutter and it didn’t help that the Mythical Beast would point it out in every video. His posture took a toll as well. A man who once stood tall and confident, became slouched. The sleeve hems on all of Link’s sweaters were frayed from the constant nervous toying he did and the tips of his fingers lacked skin as well as nail due to the anxious biting and skin picking. 

Link’s feelings for the blonde hadn’t changed since the day he realized he wanted to be more than just friends. As cheesy as it sounds, each day that passes, Link’s love for him only intensifies and he hated himself for it. There was so much fan art, fan fictions, even a hashtag dedicated to them to the point Link felt trapped. He couldn’t leave Rhett, even if someone put a gun to his head, no matter how scared or depressed he was, he couldn’t hurt the Mythical Beasts like that. 

_ He couldn’t hurt Rhett like that… _

Link faked his happiness in front of the camera, in front of his friends and family. He was a better actor than everyone thought. He was numb, Link knew he didn’t deserve it but he also felt like he was to blame for the constant abuse. It was a very confusing and constant game of tug-of-war going on inside his head, eventually something had to give.    
  
“We’re here.” Rhett stated. He turned the car off and exited the vehicle, making his way around the front. Link knew Rhett was just going to open his car door, it was another method of him kissing ass, yet he couldn’t help to tense up. His jaw locked, his muscles screamed with painful stiffness. The mere opening of the door made Link want to jump out of his skin. As the comedy duo walked towards the front entrance of the restaurant, the raven fought to keep his panic attack at bay. Link stared at the ground, unable to look up even if he tried. It was the restaurant's door handles that informed him of where they were   
  
_ Fork and spoon handles. _

They were at the Mediterranean, Link’s favorite. It was where Rhett took them on their first date all those years ago. The food was good, but it was the flavor of nostalgia that made it his favorite eatery. The various combinations of food smells confirmed that they were indeed, at the Mediterranean.    
  
“Two? Right this way.” The waitress said in a high pitched, yet warming voice. Her blonde, silky hair bounced as she led Rhett and Link to their table, gently placing their menu’s on either side of the round table. The couple took their seats, Rhett thanked the women before she left while Link sat quietly, picking at the flaking skin on his thumb. He had chewed most of the skin raw, the crease of his knuckle was the only thing keeping him from going further.    
  
“Link, I’m sorry…”


	2. Rhett's P.O.V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett peers through the looking glass at the harm he has done, fearing that he can never go back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting as long as you did! It truly means a lot. Your support is what motivates me to keep writing so thank you!

There it was again, that icy blue stare of his. They displayed an ocean of hurt and I am the captain. Link doesn’t look phased, he doesn’t even blink. He. Just. Keeps. Staring. At what, I do not know. Could he be searching deep within me for the man I once was? Searching my eyes for any glimmer of the man he had fallen in love with? I want to move, I want to hold the brunette in my arms, though I fear he will just scurry away. Words are caught in my throat, they’re burning to be spoken, yearning to be heard. But I remain silent. How can I ask for forgiveness when I continuously repeat my actions, hurting him over and  _ over,  _ and  **_over._ ** I extend my arm as an apology. Link hesitates for a moment, but accepts the invitation, slowly rising from the floor. The words, “I’m sorry.” find their way to my lips, never has it echoed so loud inside our small home. 

He looks like he wants to say something but is fighting back the urge to do so. For once I wish he would scream at me, tell me to go fuck myself, anything. I can’t stand the silence he gives me, unable to know what he is thinking is what scares me the most. 

I cannot help but to hug Link, I love him and it hurts me to see him hurt, especially when I am the one who caused it. My grip tightens around his small frame as the tears begin to roll down my cheeks, dampening his hair. And even then, he remains silent. We stay like this for a moment, though not amount of time is ever enough. Deep down, I know that I can never make things right again. No matter how many times I beg God, it doesn’t change anything. I cannot go back, none of us can ever go back, it is the price we pay for our sins. Despite knowing this, I still try fix things through materialistic gifts. It sickens me to know that I am “buying off” my best friend and lover but I do not know how else to make it up to him. ‘Sorry’ is nothing more than a puff of air and each time I hold him, he shakes in fear. 

_ Link is afraid of me.  _

Link squirms, but I hold him in place, I cannot afford to let him go, I can’t lose him. It is only when Link had agreed, I decided to release him, following closely behind. I continued my parade of apologizes though none of which seemed to resonate with the brunette. I watched him walk away, down the hall and into the bathroom. I’m always watching Link, usually when he’s not looking because I’m scared of what I will see. He’s so beautiful yet covered in obscene markings, markings I made. Hickies have turned to bruises and those caused by my mouth are now caused by my fists...What happened, where did I go wrong?

_ Blue eyes haunt my dreams, each and every night I cannot close mine without seeing his.  _

I stood in the doorway as Link undressed, his scars casting a horrid shadow under the bleak, fluorescent light. I want nothing more than to run my fingers along his body, tracing every scar I ever made. The purple bruises with green undertones made Link look like a dalmatian, he deserves so much better but I can’t let him go. It does not take long for the sight becomes too great causing me to leave without saying a word. Instead, I retire to our master bedroom where I carefully begin picking out an outfit for Link. I looked through each one of the man’s Tshirts before I select one, trying my best to recall which was his favorite. Suddenly, a tsunami of guilt washes over me. 

_ Link decides his outfit for the day depending on where his marks are...Short sleeves, hoodies, cardigans, button up flannel that cover most of his neck… _

It’s amazing the micro details that you noticed once you learn what to look for. Eventually, I decide on an outfit that not only will Link love, but will be comfortable as well, accommodating his wounds. Maybe tonight, if he’s not too scared Link will let me ice his bruises. I had just sat down when Link entered the room, towel wrapped around his small frame. Though he looked confused, I was just relieved that he expressed some type of emotion towards me. 

“I figured you must be hungry, instead of wasting time picking out an outfit, I did it for you. Quicker you dress the quicker you can eat, right baby?” My voice was soft and welcoming. Despite my actions, I love Link so I needed him to trust me. The look of confusion on his face had disappeared, being replaced with the same emotionless, dead stare that seems to have taken over as a default. A slight nod was all I received as an answer yet what was I to expect, a verbal thank you, especially after everything that I have done? At least he is staying in the same room as me…

To my surprise, Link dropped his towel, slowly putting on the underwear that I have picked out for him. I studied the man’s body language long enough to know the look of when he is in physical pain. All that could be heard was the rustling of Link’s clothing, I waited for him to fully dress before I broke the silence. “Ready to go?” I asked, placing a small, gentle kiss onto his perfect lips. I stood stunned as I watched Link snake his arms around my neck while resting his head onto my chest. His body had seemed to be less tense than usual much like how he used to be around me when we were teens. His limbs felt flimsy, almost as if he let his guard down, trusting me once again. Though this is something I so desperately craved, I am well aware that it is also something that I do not deserve. 

“R-Remember when we…” The younger man trailed off, unsure if he should continue. “Remember when we would stay like this for hours? Back when you loved me…” 

It was now my turn to tense up, Link’s words froze me in place. Feeling my heartbeat in my throat I somehow mustered up the courage to speak. “Wait a sec, you think I don’t love you?” The silence felt like an eternity, we both stood motionless, Link staring at my chest and me staring at the top of his head. I mean...Am I really all that surprised that he feels this way, can I blame him? I repeatedly hurt him, what other conclusion is he supposed to draw? I began to panic, should I say something? What do I even say to that? Is Link going to continue? The anxiety was drowning me, pulling me down, it is becoming harder and harder to breath.    
  
“Com’on let’s go, it’s getting late and I’m starving.” Link stated, quickly changing the subject. Though he ignored my question, the sound of his voice acted as a life vest and for that I am grateful. I knew the smile he had flashed me was convincing but fake, he was an amazing actor but he could not fool me. I had no choice but to nod, following Link out, and locking the door behind us. By the time I turned around, Link was already standing by the car, patiently waiting for me to unlock it. I did so by pressing the button on the remote, making my way to the driver’s side. While I readjusted my mirrors and fasten my seatbelt, I watch from the corner of my eye as he struggles to be seated. I bite my lip, unsure of what to say, what would be of comfort to the injured man. I caused this, his pain is because of me and me alone.    
  
Finally, Link began to speak though it was only to fill the deafening silence. He asked about my new windshield wipers and continued with meaningless questions that he truly had no interest in. I knew his game yet I let him play it. Eventually, there was a lull in the conversation, nothing could be heard except the roaring of the engine. Link placed one arm to rest on the windowsill of the car door while his other hand was lying flat on the seat. 

Keeping one hand on the steering wheel and my eyes fixed on the road, my free hand crept closer to Link’s, ghosting my fingers over the digits. Despite my efforts, this only caused him to retreat in fear, pressing his body to the car door. I felt like I was just stabbed in the heart, knowing that his reaction was so natural and second nature to him made it all the more painful. I coughed, trying my best to seize the burning lump that rested in my throat. I began to blink rapidly, my eyes burning with tears that threatened to fall. I broke Link, murdering the person he once was, the person that made life all that more enjoyable. Dark shadows had developed under Link’s eyes while his posture diminished. The once confidently spoken man who could easily speak in front of a crowded room or a camera began to stutter and mumble his words. And as for eye contact? I cannot remember the last time Link has willingly looked me in the eye…

I die a little more inside each and every time Link puts on the act of having the perfect life. No one knows the truth, no one knows how bad Link is hurting. No one except for me and oh God, if our walls could talk, the things they’d say and the stories they’d tell…   
  
“We’re here.” I announced in my low radio-styled voice, not wanting to startle him any more than he already was.  Once I pulled into the empty parking spot of the Mediterranean, Link’s favorite restaurant, I turned the vehicle off and stepped out. I debated on whether I should open Link’s door or not, wondering if it would only scare him more. I decided not to but at the last minute I found myself walking over to him, placing my hand onto the car door’s handle. Tonight was all about Link, whatever that meant or however that played out I was determined to make it all about him. We entered the establishment soon after that, the various aromas of food catching me off guard, making my stomach growl even louder. 

“Two? Right this way.” The waitress said in a high pitched, yet warming voice. Her blonde, silky hair bounced as she led us to our table, gently placing their menu’s on either side of the round table. Taking our seats, I thanked the women before she left while Link sat quietly, picking at the flaking skin on his thumb. He had chewed most of the skin raw, the crease of his knuckle was the only thing keeping him from going further. 

  
I have lost Link’s trust as not only a lover but as a friend. He hates me, that I am sure of. Often times I keep myself awake at night trying to recall whatever made me hurt him in the first place, what was the trigger that ignited this whole nightmare. Each night I revisit our past yet still cannot seem to remember. Could it be possible that I have blocked it from my memory? I wish I could remember, I wish I knew why I still continue to hurt the only person who truly ever mattered to me. Link has been there for me since I can remember and all I have done to repay him is hurt him. There are so many questions to which I do not know the answer to but I do know one thing, I am ready to repent for my sins.    
  
“Link, I’m sorry…”


End file.
